Many people will not want to bury their loved ones' ashes in one of the usual places, such as a church or crematorium, and that's fine, as everyone is different. However, you cannot bury the ashes wherever you think it is suitable. People are not often aware of the rules regarding ashes, so we are here to offer you some guidance.
Why Do People Choose To Bury Ashes In The Garden or Informal Settings
To Be Close To Them
The biggest reason people bury ashes in the garden is to be close to them. For some people, nothing is better than waking up in the morning, getting a cup of coffee, sitting on their favourite chair, and looking over where their ashes are buried. It will make them feel like they are still there in spirit, which can help with the healing process of losing a loved one.
Honour Their Wishes
Another reason is that it honours someone's wishes. The person who has passed away may have asked to be buried in a specific place that was special to them, and helping with this can bring a sense of fulfilment to those left behind.
Reflection and Peace
Reflection and Peace are also worth discussing. Maybe the area where you (or they) wanted the ashes to be buried is out of the way of most people and allows family members to find solitude whenever they visit, which you can’t get with a cemetery.
Cost
Cost is a big reason, as it can vary depending on your choice. The average cost is way over £1500, which is a lot of money that some people can’t afford. Burying them in your garden or on some private land can save you a lot of money.
Legal Considerations
The legal area is tricky, and we suggest you seek legal advice. We cannot advise you on that, but we will discuss some things you must consider.
Private Land
If you own the property, it's usually okay to bury the ashes in your garden without approval. Think carefully about where you want it to go. Under your garden will be utilities (such as gas and water pipes) that you don’t want to interfere with. Also, consider where an extension might go if you were to sell the house. Also, if the land your house is on isn’t freehold, you must contact whoever owns the land.
Rented House
This is a trickier one, as it's not your land. However, you may still intend to live there for the long term and want your loved ones' ashes buried there. You will have to contact the landlord to see if this is possible. Ask for this in writing so you have a copy for future complications.
Public Land
While this is possible, it's trickier as you must contact the local authority who owns the land. They might say no, as this is much different from scattering ashes, which is easier to do in a public place.
Environmental Considerations
One thing that should be considered is the environment.
Impact on Soil
If the ashes are placed directly in the ground, it can affect the soil's pH levels, which could affect the surrounding plants. There is usually a lot of calcium and other minerals in the ashes, which make the soil alkaline. You could add some organic matter around it, such as compost, to help balance the levels. If you are not bothered about the plants, put the ashes wherever you think is best, but if not, you may want to create some space around where the ashes are going.
Use Biodegradable If Possible
Many companies now offer biodegradable urns, a better way to bury ashes. These will break down over time and become part of the soil. Urns are usually made from materials like paper, salt, or cornstarch, which will break down.
If you think about a crematorium and where the ashes are, they are typically placed under grass. There will be some big trees or hedges around the edges, but there won’t be any other types of flowers or plants nearby.
The Wildlife
Think about the local wildlife and ensure the ashes are buried far enough that nothing will find them. The last thing you want is for a badger to come along or any birds to see and ingest any of them, as this would not be good.
Natural Markers
It's always best to use something natural, where possible, to remember where your loved ones are. A big rock (if possible) is nice, and most people won’t know what's there unless you mark it and move it out of the way. The rock should never be moved. This is better for the environment than using plastic or synthetic materials.
Memorial Ideas
When you bury the ashes in your garden, you want to pick somewhere nice and be creative. We will now go through a few ideas that could accompany the burying of the ashes.
Planting a Tree, Bus, or Flowers
These are very popular ways to create a memorial garden. People like to see something growing to symbolize the presence of a loved one, as if they are growing with them.
- Memorial Tree - Pick a tree that will last a long time. Maybe a slow-growing tree that will become a good size but not dominate the garden so that it becomes annoying
- Wildflowers - They look so pretty and are a great way to attract nature. If they were a nature lover, this could be a good choice.
Dedicated Space
- Memorial Bench - Placing a bench in your garden is a great idea. It could go to their favourite spot where they used to sit, and the ashes could be buried underneath.
- Rockery - These used to be very popular in UK gardens and usually found in the corner. These are an excellent way to put in various flowers, and a plaque fits in nicely on these.
How Far Will People Have To Travel?
Although not related to the other issues, it may still concern some. If most family members are in Scotland, but one person wants the ashes buried in London, it might be best to bury them where most mourners are.
Alternatives To Burying The Ashes
After some thought, you may have decided that buying ashes doesn’t feel right for you, and that's okay. Everyone is different. Here are some other things you could do instead.
Scatter The Ashes
We have covered this before on the blog, so we won’t go into any significant detail, but scattering the ashes at your loved one's favourite spot (with permission) could be a good choice. Rivers, mountains, or even the sea are popular choices.
Keep The Ashes At Home
Many people choose to keep the ashes at home. This is a way to keep their loved ones close, who will often go on a window sill. You could pick a sizeable decorative urn or split the ashes into smaller keepsake urns that will be divided amongst the family.
The Writers Thoughts
After writing this article, I thought adding my point of view might be beneficial. After my dad passed away, we were not sure what to do with his ashes.
He was into fishing, so we could have buried them by the lake he used to fish (with the owner's permission), and then there would be a memorial garden near my mum's house, or just place them at the crematorium.
In the end, I pushed to have them at the crematorium, as this is a well-managed space that isn’t going to change. The lake we thought about putting them around has now been redeveloped for housing, and the memorial garden we looked at isn’t well maintained. That's not to say all non-managed spaces will end up like that; it's just what happened near us.
FAQS
How Deep Should Ashes Be Buried?
There are no legal requirements for how deep they should be buried. Our advice is to bury them as deep as possible (at least 1 meter) so that if anyone ever works in that area in the future, they will not randomly be able to dig them up.
Do I need to inform anyone if I bury ashes on my property?
There is no legal requirement to inform authorities if you bury ashes on your property, but keeping a record for future reference is wise, especially if you plan to move house.
Final Thoughts
Essentially, it's up to you what you do with the ashes, as it's all down to personal preference. Putting the ashes in the garden is a lovely way to honour a loved one and a place where the mourners can sit in their own time and be close to their resting place.
